Have you ever dared to explore your own cognitive distortions, your own cognitive dissonance? It's a scary undertaking. Facing one's own shadow. Cognitive Dissonance is the dirty fiend that leads us to repeat unhealthy patterns over and over again. Cognitive Dissonance is an enigmatic trap. The more we think something, the more we bring about the [...]
If people came with warning signs, what would yours say? I think often about this, about what people might need warning about when approaching me. As if I were a highway to somewhere and my landmarks needed explication. As if all who approach might need instruction on how to handle what's ahead. As if there is [...]
When I was a little girl, I used to practice being invisible. If I was invisible then I couldn't be yelled at, devalued, or hurt. At least that is what my childhood mind told me. Now, I know that doesn't make any sense, I am not, nor have I ever been, a vanishing girl. I was [...]
This morning I sat curled up in the fetal position, in an old wooden chair, in an unfamiliar place, having Thai tea instead of my normal morning coffee/protein shake. In the midst of all this unknown, I was awed by the beauty all around me. I thought for a second, maybe this is what growth [...]
Change is bloody hard. Sometimes it feels downright impossible. This is especially true for positive, lasting change. I've been thinking a lot about this since quitting therapy with C. I keep asking myself, "did I bail for the right reasons?" Because I dedicated myself to the therapy process. I told myself I was going to [...]
Sometimes even the brightest lights don't shine quite as brightly as they usually do. Even the sun is obscured today, making for a world that is literally and figuratively dim. The fog has been acting as a thick blanket this week, effectively erasing tall buildings, cars, people. It's a strange experience of the world. My [...]
Sometimes we have take a long hard look at where we came from to appreciate how far we have come, where we are and where we are going. Or, at least, that's what they say. So, as I am currently in life repair mode, I took a trip back home to remind myself of how [...]
"Why English? The other day during an interview I was asked, "Why English?". I gave the standard "I love reading. I'm good at research. I've always been pretty drawn to writing." Not lies. Not the truth. I had never really considered why I chose English before; it was just something I did, not a choice [...]
I am not every negative thing that has happened to me or been said about me. I am a patchwork girl. I am pieced together from fragments of memories, experiences, and stories. I have been created by all the people I’ve ever loved or hated. And all the people who have loved and hated me. In [...]
A fellow blogger recently drew her "monster" as a part of her therapy homework (I believe) and it inspired me to do a bit of my own drawing (as I've felt like something has been off all day, just unsettled). I grew up in a ridiculously religious household and was always told demons were the [...]
Her Patchwork Heart 
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