I had therapy with K yesterday. I was going to tell her that it had to be our last session, that I couldn't afford anymore. But then, she just said and did all the right things. I couldn't walk away. So, we set an appointment for 3 weeks from now, when I should have money [...]
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Ghosts
Do you believe in ghosts? Yes, I mean the kind that go bump in the night. The specters caught between real and not real, past and present, energy diverted. I just watched Haunting of Hill House on Netflix and it made me think. I thought of the fine line between what's real and what's not. [...]
Experiences of Synchronicity
Wednesday, my therapy day, was quite unusual. There isn't any way my words will do justice to the events of the day but I'm still going to try. The best way I can describe the day is through the notion of Synchronicity. This is basically Carl Jung's fancy explanation for those strange coincidences that feel [...]
A lot of change…
Again, it has been a while since I've written. I think the last I checked in, it was on the J thing (me trying to persuade her to have me for individual). Her first response was via phone, so I couldn't share that. But, after some deep soul searching I realized what I needed from [...]
Broken Heart
Well, J called me yesterday at 1:30PM and told me that she didn't think it was ethical to agree to be my individual therapist. I expected that to be the answer but I had hope that she would be different. My heart is broken. She is just another person, in a string of people, who [...]
Finally, Fighting for Myself
So, I’ve said I don’t know how many times on here that I really wish that I could do individual therapy with J, that I trust her and feel a sense of security with her and that she gets me. Blah, blah. All the good things. But, it was complicated because I am working K, [...]
Some Random Ramblings
First thing is first, I'm sorry I've not been around much. I'm trying to periodically read posts, like them, and comment. I want you all to know I'm still about, supporting you and quietly cheering you all on as you progress in your individual journeys. I've been even worse at actually creating posts. I've been [...]
Medication Update and Most Recent EMDR Session
So, you know how I've been pretty stable lately? I think that has been, in part, due to finding the right combination of medications. I talked to my insurance today (the new insurance since my last plan ran out) and there is a pretty good chance my Latuda won't even get covered because it isn't [...]
I am the architect of my own dreams
I acknowledge that... I am the architect of my own dreams. No one can build the edifice of my success, except for me. I am in charge of the blue prints and vision. Only I (and maybe a higher power) know the final product. I am the master crafts(wo)man of my own happiness. Only I [...]
An Ambien Stupor
Oh my goodness! Last night I took two ambien, instead of my usual one, because my brain wasn't cooperating. Let me tell you all about the things I have since discovered doing while in my stupor: 1) I ate all the cookies in the apartment 2) I ate half a bag of chips 3) I [...]
Her Patchwork Heart 
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