I think I've finally found the right combination of professionals. I saw my psychiatrist today and she was patient as I refused to produce a urine sample (after the $3220 debacle). And she was patient as I refused to give blood because I just didn't see the point (hello, depression). She was disappointed but gave [...]
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Life Update
I've been doing a lot of waxing philosophical lately and I've got to tell you, it is an avoidance tactic. I kept trying to will myself into this amazing life of hope and enthusiasm. And, for a while it worked. But, not everything has been great. So, here is just a general life update. Group [...]
What Song Does Your Heart Sing?
The soul is in a dissonant state when too much time is spent denying one's true nature. We cannot be who others need and want us to be, only who we truly are at our core. If through being ourselves we are forced to stare down rejection, fear, anxiety, and insecurity-- so be it. There [...]
Crying Yogi(ni)
I cried today during morning yoga practice. I've been told this is something that happens but in a year and a half I've never experienced the rush of emotions people have told me about. I wondered if I was defective, to be quite honest. I wondered if I was really that shut off to my [...]
Finding My Edge
This week for yoga teacher training I had to write an essay about how I find my edge. In this case edge is being defined as, "a place of comfortable discomfort, where growing and healing happens." However, when I think of edge, the word is riddled with negative connotations. Edge to me is the sharp [...]
Shine your Light
Have you ever just watched as rain-filled clouds roll over you, casting shadows on the earth beneath your feet? Clouds that are so bloated with water that they can't contain what's in them; they shed little droplets of rain as they travel (portents of an impending cleansing). Yet, somehow, light gets through or around, just [...]
In the Midst of “No”
I've been thinking a lot lately about how our culture defines success. And, how there is often this "good things come to those who wait" mentality. But I think the truth is, good things come to those who put themselves out there and who risk being told "no." We have to be willing to accept [...]
A Letter to Caffeine
For my addictions counseling course, we have to give up a substance which we are presumably somewhat addicted to... as part of the assignment, we also have to write a letter to our substance. To be included in the letter are these components: How my addictive substance/behavior is loved and is considered a “friend” How [...]
Depression Has No Face
In light of the recent deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, almost everyone is talking about suicide. We all have our own opinions and our own takes on suicide and depression (though suicide doesn't necessarily have to mean the person was struggling with depression; there is just a pretty good chance that was the [...]
More Wisdom from my Younger Self
When I turned in my letter of resignation and my keys this week, I gave up stability in pursuit of living a more authentic life. Initially this was exhilarating. However, today I am feeling an unreal amount of anxiety about the fact that I quit my salaried job with benefits in pursuit of working a [...]
Her Patchwork Heart 
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