Today was a day of therapy. I saw K at 1 today. We talked a lot about my different parts. She said she wanted to keep things simple today. She reassured me that I did a good job talking through things today and that I felt less resistant in session today than I have in [...]
Last week in group we did a visualization at the end. We were to imagine ourselves in a forest. And to imagine a guide. I saw a buck. We were asked, as homework, to do something to connect with our guide. I drew mine (and colored it while at work; I get to do that, [...]
Tuesday I saw H, the therapist who is covered by my insurance. She was nice. She seemed smart. But, I chose not to make a follow-up appointment. I know I could be saving a lot of money every month but it means something to me that K tries so hard to make sure my needs [...]
Today was my first shift on the Crisis unit. I was so, so nervous on the drive there. I knew I would just be shadowing today, so not a lot of laborious work. But I worried that I'd be shown something that I couldn't contain. That wasn't the case. My first shift was pretty mundane. [...]
I had therapy with K yesterday. I was going to tell her that it had to be our last session, that I couldn't afford anymore. But then, she just said and did all the right things. I couldn't walk away. So, we set an appointment for 3 weeks from now, when I should have money [...]
Do you believe in ghosts? Yes, I mean the kind that go bump in the night. The specters caught between real and not real, past and present, energy diverted. I just watched Haunting of Hill House on Netflix and it made me think. I thought of the fine line between what's real and what's not. [...]
Wednesday, my therapy day, was quite unusual. There isn't any way my words will do justice to the events of the day but I'm still going to try. The best way I can describe the day is through the notion of Synchronicity. This is basically Carl Jung's fancy explanation for those strange coincidences that feel [...]
Again, it has been a while since I've written. I think the last I checked in, it was on the J thing (me trying to persuade her to have me for individual). Her first response was via phone, so I couldn't share that. But, after some deep soul searching I realized what I needed from [...]
Well, J called me yesterday at 1:30PM and told me that she didn't think it was ethical to agree to be my individual therapist. I expected that to be the answer but I had hope that she would be different. My heart is broken. She is just another person, in a string of people, who [...]
So, I’ve said I don’t know how many times on here that I really wish that I could do individual therapy with J, that I trust her and feel a sense of security with her and that she gets me. Blah, blah. All the good things. But, it was complicated because I am working K, [...]
Her Patchwork Heart 
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