I heeded the wise words of you, my fellow bloggers, and went ahead and made an appointment with another EMDR therapist. I just really did not have a good gut feeling about the second one. I don't think I could count on her to help me contain anything that would become overwhelming, should it become [...]
Finding an EMDR Therapist
So, I mentioned in an earlier blog that I was going to look into EMDR. I had already seen one therapist and after intake she insisted that I do comprehensive DBT because there is 24/7 access to the therapists. I do not, however, want 24/7 access to anyone. I value my autonomy and independence. I'm [...]
An Update
A lot has changed for me recently. I've not been posting much because I've been in a mental space where I feel like everything I say just doesn't come out right, so it is best not to even bother. But, I miss the wordpress community, so I am going to try and summarize where things [...]
Life as a Teenage Beauty Queen or Creating the Feminine Machine
This is an old one and a long one but hopefully worth the read still: I would like to invite you on a journey, not across space, but across time, my time, the time I spent living in the body of a teenage beauty queen. This isn't science fiction; there won't be a time machine, [...]
More Wisdom from my Younger Self
This day, the day that would have been my anniversary, 4 years ago I wrote this: "I realized tonight that I really need to stop apologizing for just being myself. I am a messy, complicated, sensitive, super emotional, overanalyzing human. I'm imperfect. I can be difficult. But, I'm also incredibly loyal. I'm probably excessively generous. [...]
Write from your scars, not your wounds
A wise woman said to me today, "if you want to touch others you must write from your scars, not your wounds." I realized that the writing I have done recently, on both my blog and my Facebook, has been wound writing. And I realize that writing from this place may have had the very [...]
This isn’t where I thought I’d be
As I approach almost 30 years of life and I take inventory of where I have been and where I am, I realize, I am no where I thought I'd be. I never thought at 29 I would be waking up at 7:30am to break-up texts because I wasn't ready to be more physically affection. [...]
Haunted by Nightmares
I've spent years having sleepless nights filled with nightmares. I had almost gotten used to it but then medication offered me a little bit of hope. I stopped having as many nightmares. They were almost gone. And even when I would have them, they wouldn't hit me with such intensity. But, I think, maybe, I've [...]
My Mental Health Team
I think I've finally found the right combination of professionals. I saw my psychiatrist today and she was patient as I refused to produce a urine sample (after the $3220 debacle). And she was patient as I refused to give blood because I just didn't see the point (hello, depression). She was disappointed but gave [...]
Life Update
I've been doing a lot of waxing philosophical lately and I've got to tell you, it is an avoidance tactic. I kept trying to will myself into this amazing life of hope and enthusiasm. And, for a while it worked. But, not everything has been great. So, here is just a general life update. Group [...]
Her Patchwork Heart 
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