Have you ever beat yourself up for not being further along than you thought you should be? Or, maybe you did get there but then you took 2 steps backward? Maybe you lost 12 pounds but then you gained 5 back. Maybe you managed not to cut for 2 months but then you slipped up [...]
Tag: depression
“Sorry, I’m not ghosting you…”
I feel like that's the story of my life right now: "sorry, I'm not ghosting you..." It's my blog life, my family life, my friend life, and my dating life. Especially my dating life... I didn't respond until technically the next day. I don't know what my deal is, I just don't have the energy [...]
Meandering Down the Path of Wonder
Do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if a certain thing never happened or you had never met a certain person or if you were somewhere else at a specific time? I think this is natural right? To wonder about how things could have been different. But, for some of us we [...]
Uninhibited Emotional Vulnerability
I wrote this on this day 4 years ago: "I sometimes wonder if having moments of uninhibited emotional vulnerability (or just complete raw honesty) with/at/towards people is a mistake, if people don't know what to do with that kind of openness or just don't actually want that much honesty. If those are things best left [...]
Sanctuary from a Dim World
Sometimes even the brightest lights don't shine quite as brightly as they usually do. Even the sun is obscured today, making for a world that is literally and figuratively dim. The fog has been acting as a thick blanket this week, effectively erasing tall buildings, cars, people. It's a strange experience of the world. My [...]
Where I Come From: A Rise from the Lower Class
Sometimes we have take a long hard look at where we came from to appreciate how far we have come, where we are and where we are going. Or, at least, that's what they say. So, as I am currently in life repair mode, I took a trip back home to remind myself of how [...]
Friendship in the Tsunami of Sadness
Today the weather matches my mood. I am a tsunami of Sadness. I am, quite frankly suicidal in the has a plan and could act on it kind of way. Today I contemplated suicide in a way more serious than I have in ages. Had it not been for the consistent company of my best [...]
I am not a single story
I am not every negative thing that has happened to me or been said about me. I am a patchwork girl. I am pieced together from fragments of memories, experiences, and stories. I have been created by all the people I’ve ever loved or hated. And all the people who have loved and hated me. In [...]
The Demons Inside Us
A fellow blogger recently drew her "monster" as a part of her therapy homework (I believe) and it inspired me to do a bit of my own drawing (as I've felt like something has been off all day, just unsettled). I grew up in a ridiculously religious household and was always told demons were the [...]
The Bravery of Choosing to Live
I want to speak candidly about something society tells us we aren't allowed to talk about because it's dark and scary: suicide. What if, every morning when you woke up, you had to choose to keep living? You had to choose to make your lungs keep drawing in air. You had to choose not to [...]
Her Patchwork Heart 
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