I am not an imposter among survivors. I am not a victim. The other day a former friend called me a victim, told me I'd always be that way, that I push people away, that I'm hard to help. I let myself feel hurt and victimized by those statements. I let her words become prophetic. [...]
Tag: growth
From ‘No’ to ‘Yes’
I'm not talking about consent here. When it comes to consent, no means no. Period. What I am talking about here is turning an internal no into a yes. Taking the no we say to experiences and emotions and turning that into a yes, saying yes to feeling and experiencing all the things we are [...]
Protected: A Letter to my Ex-Therapist
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Loving Yourself When You’re the Toxic Person
We are, on occasion, going to be the Toxic person in our relationships. This is probably one of the hardest things to admit to ourselves because let's be real, it is easier if the hurt is the other person's fault. But sometimes, it just isn't. Sometimes it is us reenacting past behaviors, creating very real present [...]
Loving Kindness and all that Jazz
Apparently on this day for the last several years I've been incredibly mindful and reflective. I shared this on my Facebook 3 years ago: I still believe in that world, the one held together by love. Even as I see the world around me becoming a darker place, I keep believing in the power of [...]
Patience is Difficult on the Long Journeys
Have you ever beat yourself up for not being further along than you thought you should be? Or, maybe you did get there but then you took 2 steps backward? Maybe you lost 12 pounds but then you gained 5 back. Maybe you managed not to cut for 2 months but then you slipped up [...]
Let me Grow to Maturity in Missouri
This morning I sat curled up in the fetal position, in an old wooden chair, in an unfamiliar place, having Thai tea instead of my normal morning coffee/protein shake. In the midst of all this unknown, I was awed by the beauty all around me. I thought for a second, maybe this is what growth [...]
Uninhibited Emotional Vulnerability
I wrote this on this day 4 years ago: "I sometimes wonder if having moments of uninhibited emotional vulnerability (or just complete raw honesty) with/at/towards people is a mistake, if people don't know what to do with that kind of openness or just don't actually want that much honesty. If those are things best left [...]
I am not a single story
I am not every negative thing that has happened to me or been said about me. I am a patchwork girl. I am pieced together from fragments of memories, experiences, and stories. I have been created by all the people I’ve ever loved or hated. And all the people who have loved and hated me. In [...]
Healthy Risks? Or, Have I Lost my Mind?
Lately, I've been really putting myself out there. I've felt lost and I'm trying so hard to find my place, to find my way, to find the path fate wants me on. Because right now, I'm not on that path. I can feel it in my bones. I'm not using the gifts I've been given. [...]
Her Patchwork Heart 
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