Sometimes the things we do to take care of ourselves are going to hurt. Sometimes they're going to hurt like Hell. As long as they are healthy and truly rooted in self-care, do them anyway. Yesterday, I may have taken my self-care routine a little too far but opportunities presented themselves and I took them. [...]
Tag: ptsd
Yoga IS my Glimmer of Hope
In the wake of so many losses -- some chosen, some not-- (my grandfather, my therapist, (impending) my job, (impending) my apartment, my plans for the future), I've been clinging to the only glimmer of hope I really feel like is consistently left in my life: yoga. I guess we can call this blog an [...]
Maybe there is hope…
Just a general update, nothing wise here. I had another session with Dr. W yesterday. As well as an appointment with a different psych. Needless to say, yesterday was emotionally draining. The psych was less gentle than my usual psych. So, when she said things that implied I wasn't trying enough because I broke down [...]
Daring to Explore the Cognitive Dissonance
Have you ever dared to explore your own cognitive distortions, your own cognitive dissonance? It's a scary undertaking. Facing one's own shadow. Cognitive Dissonance is the dirty fiend that leads us to repeat unhealthy patterns over and over again. Cognitive Dissonance is an enigmatic trap. The more we think something, the more we bring about the [...]
Cognitive Return to Easter
Today, I drove out to the lake to see where my father is living. The house is... lacking but sufficient. It's barely a step up from where we came from. But, it's temporary and it's by the lake. While I was there I was able to do some yoga by the lake which was nice. [...]
The Vanishing Girl
When I was a little girl, I used to practice being invisible. If I was invisible then I couldn't be yelled at, devalued, or hurt. At least that is what my childhood mind told me. Now, I know that doesn't make any sense, I am not, nor have I ever been, a vanishing girl. I was [...]
Patience is Difficult on the Long Journeys
Have you ever beat yourself up for not being further along than you thought you should be? Or, maybe you did get there but then you took 2 steps backward? Maybe you lost 12 pounds but then you gained 5 back. Maybe you managed not to cut for 2 months but then you slipped up [...]
Poem: Scars
Trigger warning: Self harm This was written to be spoken word poetry put to music and such; maybe some day I'll do that but for now, here it is in its plain ole typed form. Scars I am not my scars Or any of the things that have happened to me. I'm not the [...]
Uninhibited Emotional Vulnerability
I wrote this on this day 4 years ago: "I sometimes wonder if having moments of uninhibited emotional vulnerability (or just complete raw honesty) with/at/towards people is a mistake, if people don't know what to do with that kind of openness or just don't actually want that much honesty. If those are things best left [...]
Sanctuary from a Dim World
Sometimes even the brightest lights don't shine quite as brightly as they usually do. Even the sun is obscured today, making for a world that is literally and figuratively dim. The fog has been acting as a thick blanket this week, effectively erasing tall buildings, cars, people. It's a strange experience of the world. My [...]
Her Patchwork Heart 
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