If people came with warning signs, what would yours say? I think often about this, about what people might need warning about when approaching me. As if I were a highway to somewhere and my landmarks needed explication. As if all who approach might need instruction on how to handle what's ahead. As if there is [...]
When I was a little girl, I used to practice being invisible. If I was invisible then I couldn't be yelled at, devalued, or hurt. At least that is what my childhood mind told me. Now, I know that doesn't make any sense, I am not, nor have I ever been, a vanishing girl. I was [...]
Have you ever beat yourself up for not being further along than you thought you should be? Or, maybe you did get there but then you took 2 steps backward? Maybe you lost 12 pounds but then you gained 5 back. Maybe you managed not to cut for 2 months but then you slipped up [...]
Sometimes even the brightest lights don't shine quite as brightly as they usually do. Even the sun is obscured today, making for a world that is literally and figuratively dim. The fog has been acting as a thick blanket this week, effectively erasing tall buildings, cars, people. It's a strange experience of the world. My [...]
Sometimes we have take a long hard look at where we came from to appreciate how far we have come, where we are and where we are going. Or, at least, that's what they say. So, as I am currently in life repair mode, I took a trip back home to remind myself of how [...]
"Why English? The other day during an interview I was asked, "Why English?". I gave the standard "I love reading. I'm good at research. I've always been pretty drawn to writing." Not lies. Not the truth. I had never really considered why I chose English before; it was just something I did, not a choice [...]
Today the weather matches my mood. I am a tsunami of Sadness. I am, quite frankly suicidal in the has a plan and could act on it kind of way. Today I contemplated suicide in a way more serious than I have in ages. Had it not been for the consistent company of my best [...]
I am not every negative thing that has happened to me or been said about me. I am a patchwork girl. I am pieced together from fragments of memories, experiences, and stories. I have been created by all the people I’ve ever loved or hated. And all the people who have loved and hated me. In [...]
A fellow blogger recently drew her "monster" as a part of her therapy homework (I believe) and it inspired me to do a bit of my own drawing (as I've felt like something has been off all day, just unsettled). I grew up in a ridiculously religious household and was always told demons were the [...]
I want to speak candidly about something society tells us we aren't allowed to talk about because it's dark and scary: suicide. What if, every morning when you woke up, you had to choose to keep living? You had to choose to make your lungs keep drawing in air. You had to choose not to [...]
Her Patchwork Heart 
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