I am not an Imposter

I am not an imposter among survivors. I am not a victim. The other day a former friend called me a victim, told me I'd always be that way, that I push people away, that I'm hard to help. I let myself feel hurt and victimized by those statements. I let her words become prophetic. [...]

From ‘No’ to ‘Yes’

I'm not talking about consent here. When it comes to consent, no means no. Period. What I am talking about here is turning an internal no into a yes. Taking the no we say to experiences and emotions and turning that into a yes, saying yes to feeling and experiencing all the things we are [...]

Wanderlust: Not a Total Bust

This morning, during my coffee routine, I wrote about being grumbly and up early for Wanderlust. I made light of being up before the light because I was excited to try something new. But, Texas had other plans for we yogis today. It was a windy 40 something degrees. Texans are not used to this [...]

Yoga IS my Glimmer of Hope

In the wake of so many losses -- some chosen, some not-- (my grandfather, my therapist, (impending) my job, (impending) my apartment, my plans for the future), I've been clinging to the only glimmer of hope I really feel like is consistently left in my life: yoga. I guess we can call this blog an [...]

Maybe there is hope…

Just a general update, nothing wise here. I had another session with Dr. W yesterday. As well as an appointment with a different psych. Needless to say, yesterday was emotionally draining. The psych was less gentle than my usual psych. So, when she said things that implied I wasn't trying enough because I broke down [...]

Cognitive Return to Easter

Today, I drove out to the lake to see where my father is living. The house is... lacking but sufficient. It's barely a step up from where we came from. But, it's temporary and it's by the lake. While I was there I was able to do some yoga by the lake which was nice. [...]

The Vanishing Girl

When I was a little girl, I used to practice being invisible. If I was invisible then I couldn't be yelled at, devalued, or hurt. At least that is what my childhood mind told me. Now, I know that doesn't make any sense, I am not, nor have I ever been, a vanishing girl. I was [...]

Sanctuary from a Dim World

Sometimes even the brightest lights don't shine quite as brightly as they usually do. Even the sun is obscured today, making for a world that is literally and figuratively dim. The fog has been acting as a thick blanket this week, effectively erasing tall buildings, cars, people. It's a strange experience of the world. My [...]

Today: A Gun in Our School

Today a kid brought a BB gun to the school where I teach. Fortunately, it wasn't a "real" gun and fortunately he was caught, though I'm sure he didn't intend to do any damage. I think it was for the accolades, though it concerns me that this would be an action taken to receive accolades. [...]