I feel like that’s the story of my life right now: “sorry, I’m not ghosting you…” It’s my blog life, my family life, my friend life, and my dating life. Especially my dating life…
I didn’t respond until technically the next day. I don’t know what my deal is, I just don’t have the energy to keep up the illusion that everything is all right. And I don’t have the energy to comfort people when they realise that I’m not okay.
So… I just don’t. I disappear. Fortunately, all of you are amazing and don’t have lofty expectations for me; I’m allowed to just be not okay here. It means a lot to have my blog as a refuge and to have you all to share with… I don’t feel as inclines to disappear from this space… which says a lot really, about the acceptance I feel I have gained here.
Thank you, for taking me as I am…
Her Patchwork Heart 
You are highly thought of on here. I know I don’t get a chance to comment on all your posts but I do read them and think a lot of your struggle 🙂❤️🙏🏻
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Thank you so much for this
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I have a strong tendency to disappear, and often don’t even acknowledge messages because I want to pretend they don’t exist.
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I definitely get that compulsion. It’s hard
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This sentence “I don’t have the energy to comfort people when they realise that I’m not okay” is so true, for me especially! I hadn’t actually ever thought about it that way but it definitely adds to my want to avoid people. It’s always nice knowing you’re not alone and that you can connect with so many people through blogging. Thanks for sharing
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I totally had this egocentric view on this before I posted this entry. I genuinely thought, “It’s just me” which I see now, it’s totally not just me. A lot of you get it.
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At least you attempt to do things. I never appear! I stay in my own world which isn’t all that healthy. I will have to break out soon. I’ve been consumed with myself for almost a year and the sad part is, I am perfectly fine.
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I don’t know… actually… which is more healthy, staying hidden away or forcing oneself to attempt appearances for others…
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“I don’t know what my deal is, I just don’t have the energy to keep up the illusion that everything is all right. And I don’t have the energy to comfort people when they realise that I’m not okay.” – I can relate to this *so* much. It’s definitely not just you.
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❤
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